I’m really present to the impact of COVID19 on my family, friends, colleagues and fellow humans and I’m thinking we are all in this together.
I know many who have lost their jobs. I am so present that domestic violence and addiction are on the rise. I have friends on a pension who are very sick and very wealthy friends upset about the loss of business. There is no right or wrong here. We are all impacted.
If you are in a space of anxiety or depression right now, I reckon that’s pretty normal.
My coaching training has taught me that the 6 core human needs are:
- Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
- Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
- Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
- Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
- Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
- Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others
Let’s have a look at certainty. If certainty is one of your top basic human needs, you need to feel secure and safe about the future. When you receive positive recognition, it may be accompanied by a need for certainty that the recognition is authentic and will continue. In order to live a life filled with certainty, your life has to stay the same – a nearly impossible expectation to fulfill, especially right now!
I love Anthony Hopkins take on uncertainty here.
He says “I know nothing, my knowledge is meaningless. We are not special. We are just ashes at the end. Certainty destroys us.”
My own need for certainty has had its foundations shaken to the core. I love certainty. I love uncertainty more but right now the uncertainty scale has tipped a little too far for me. My gym has closed, my client work has come to a halt and my social outlets are on pause. It’s not permanent, I know that, and it’s having an impact on me. I’m an extrovert.
I can feel uncertainty manifesting in my body. There is a constant feeling of indigestion in my gut, the back of my head aches, I sleep restlessly or I sleep a lot and wake feeling like I’ve done 10 rounds with Rocky. I’m really present to it. My meditation is a bit off. I lack focus and feel confusion. I’m tired. I feel a sense of grief for the loss of small business in my own little local community here in Melbourne.
I’m grateful that I have a heightened sense of how I am feeling. This is a practice I have worked on for some years now. I’m making progress. I’m very grateful to be in lockdown with my beautiful husband. We actually enjoy each other’s company and can work from home well enough and have it be ok. Our family and friends are well. We are among the fortunate ones.
I reckon its pretty normal to feel a bit weird and have a need to process this stuff right now, so I decided I’d connect with you today to let you know that I care about how you are doing.
If it helps, here are some things that are helping me right now:
Routine - I had a chat with a client/friend last week about routine and how important it is during times of uncertainty. She inspired me to think about mine. Thanks Jen! Here is my top 8 every day:
- First thing in the morning - Daily Calm app 10 minute meditation before my feet hit the floor
- A face masque - Yes I DO actually put on a masque EVERY day. No joke.
- 3 planned balanced, nutritious plant based meals a day - no snacking in between
- A good mug of nespresso in a fine bone china mug - yes, I am a princess. It must be china
- 1 hour of movement for my body - walk, weights, body work, yoga - essential for my emotional and physical health. I am grumpy without it.
- Pat a dog or a cat - I don’t have one but I find one every day to give some love to.
- Pick up the phone and intentionally check in with someone to see how they are. Anyone.
- Last thing before bed I have an evening journal practice - I have a 5 year diary and have 5 lines to capture the day. Next I capture 3 things I am grateful for after my day.
Mindset - Daily meditation, mantras, spiritual recordings on positive mindset. Knowing and telling myself every day that this is a golden opportunity to work on my new project, get to know myself on a whole new level and make myself more available to be of service to contribute to others.
Connection - I’m using zoom, face time and the phone to stay connected to people I can’t see right now. It’s fantastic! I have two little girls in my street Zoe 3 and Cleo 1.5 who are delighting in my fairy garden. I find myself changing the garden treasures around to provide entertainment for them. They invite me to come out and play with them. I adore these girls and appreciate the pure joy they are giving me right now. I don’t really like children but apparently I’m quite good with them. Go figure …..
Health - Part of my routine is to stay healthy. I have an auto immune condition and have no choice but to eat well and move my body on a daily basis. I am present to the insane craving in my body for sugar and alcohol. I keep it at bay one day at a time. Some days are a little tougher than others. I’m having more of the tough days lately.
I’d love to hear how you are travelling?