So we are in the midst of this isolating thing and working from home like most Aussies right now. We are out walking morning and evening for fresh air and conversation. Off to the park to get some exercise. Sometimes Andy is on a conference call and I have my music on as I dance my way to the park. Tina Turner and Jimmy Barnes will do that to me. It’s a ‘thing’. And sometimes we just chat or maintain a comfortable silence.
We talk about all kinds of things:
What breaks your heart? Who inspires you? What do you think could work better with the world? What’s the matter with people? Sometimes he just shakes his head and says “too deep”. Most times we have the conversation. He’s like Yoda, my husband. Wise old sage. Used to be a Catholic Priest and has a degree in psychology. He’s the master of holding space and knows how to BE with people who are grieving. He works in the funeral industry. He’s also really funny and my daughter says his Dad jokes are #theworst It’s true, they are so bad and we can’t stop laughing at them.
Our wedding vows were funny. He vowed to not unpack the dishwasher while the dishes were still wet leaving water all over the floor. I vowed to not talk while the Adelaide Crows are playing or start deep conversations when we go to bed. I think a lot. Things disturb and inspire me. I’m passionate and have a need to express those things.
It got me to thinking about what I love most about my husband. So of course, I start that conversation at bed time (there go my wedding vows eh?).
I said, ‘Hey honey, you know what I love most about you?” I had a long list of all the things and they all lead to one word - FREEDOM. That’s a big one for me because I’ve been married twice before and I’ve never really been free to be me. I got really present to the value in being able to be silly, funny, tired, grumpy, bouncy, chatty, distant, annoying, smart, intense, passionate and all the shades of who I am as a woman. It does not seem to matter how I am being. He embraces all aspects of me and loves and accepts or tolerates them all. Yes, he shakes his head and has a way of saying ‘not now Helen’ but he never switches off my light. I have never felt dismissed or blocked for being who I am. I call that freedom. I need it and this week I’m intensely grateful for it.
It allows space for complete honesty and a deeper connection. I’m not dancing around what I can and can’t say. It’s all good.
Social distancing and staying at home have got me thinking more deeply about things. Freedom in a relationship is a non negotiable for me. Freedom in business relationships and with friends has to be important too. Where do you experience the value of freedom most in your life? I’d love to hear your take on that today, if you feel free to express it! Lol!